There is nothing like seeing the ocean for the first time, every time. As we entered Santa Monica at 7am Saturday morning, we knew it wouldn’t be long. Shane and I were like giddy little kids. We eagerly looked down every street, waiting to see that little flash of blue. And then, “There it is! Did you see it?!” We rolled our windows down, turned up the music, stuck our arms out the window and breathed in the cool air.
As we drove through this beautiful scene, we saw joggers, bikers, dog walkers and everyday people busily running their Saturday morning errands. It was in that moment that it really hit me. People actually get to live here. This isn’t just a vacation spot I grew to love. Then came the big revelation, I am going to live here! This will be my life. I had to keep telling myself that our entire trip. I am still telling myself that. It just doesn’t seem real.
Our trip to Los Angeles was amazing. Truly, it was everything we wanted and more. The last time we vacationed to California, we were located in Orange County for most of our time, and only spent one day in the actual city of LA. That being the case, there was a small part of me that was hoping and praying that I really would like it there. I mean what if I’d made plans to move to a city that I was ultimately going to hate? What if I couldn’t picture myself living life there at all?
Luckily for me, LA did nothing but exceed my expectations. The moment we drove in, I was struck by how beautiful the city was to me. LA is undoubtedly an urban city, but it is one that is framed by mountains, lined by the sea, and filled with more vegetation than I thought possible. I absolutely love that contrast.
As the week went on, we discovered so many great apartments, shops, farmers markets and restaurants. As we took it all in, I tried to picture what my every day life would like here. There was this huge part of me that was nothing but excited. I mean really, we are going to have so much fun. The adventures will be endless.
Then, as it became more and more real, a whole other part of me… (How should I describe it?)… FREAKED OUT! You see, I am a planner. I plan out everything. Not only do I plan things out, but I also like for things to go as I planned them. Here, in Amarillo, that’s not a huge problem. I know my situation well, and I generally know what life looks like and what it will most likely look like in a few months. Moving across the country…well, you can’t really plan that. Sure, you can try finding jobs and apartments before hand—and that is really wise—but, outside of that, there is really no way to know what life will look like in a new place. There is no way to know how much you will miss your friends and family. There is no way to know if that will be bearable or not. There is no way to look into the future and seeing if we love our new life, have new friends and are actually succeeding; or, if we are sad, friendless and struggling to pay bills. There is simply no way of knowing.
That’s life, and that’s the adventure. In the not knowing we will learn to take leaps, to challenge ourselves and to grow as human beings. The not knowing will give us fantastic stories to tell, even if they don’t seem so fantastic in that exact moment. I’m not going to lie to myself. I am still terrified, but I think that is okay. It may even be a good thing. I’m not going to let a little fear keep me from this exciting new chapter. We have accepted the challenge. June could not come faster!